fish shaming [x]

jesus christ i’ve been waiting for this


fun prank: put $1000 in an envelope and mail it to me

"I chose the impossible. I chose… Rapture. A city where the artist would not fear the censor. Where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality. Where the great would not be constrained by the small. And with the sweat of your brow, Rapture can become your city as well."


does anyone else feel kinda chubby sometimes when ur on the computer


so u just take ur shirt and




when I was like 9 my neighbors asked me to watch their fish and cat while they went on vacation and I was like “lol k” and while they were gone tHE FUCKING FISH DIED so when they got home I apologized to the mom and she was just like “no need to apologize, I turned the filter off so they would die because they are too much work. You did nothing wrong” and she gave me 20 bucks and that is the story of my first contracted murder

your first…?


cute things to call your girlfriend:

1. sugar 
2. honey 
3. flour 
4. egg 
5. 1/2lb butter 
6. stir 
7. pour into pan 
8. preheat to 375°


sees cute animal



i’m thankful my childhood was filled with imagination and bruises from playing outside, instead of apps and how many damn likes you get on a picture

My niece is constantly playing outside and covered in bruises, she has loads of imagination and draws a lot AND already know more about most electronics than I do so

idk man stop whining about this stuff, things change that doesn’t make newer generations worse or dumber


hero of ferelden at its finest

Starry Eyed
By Ellie Goulding

Starry Eyed - Ellie Goulding
Next thing we’re touching
You look at me and it’s like you hit me with lightning